Do you know the 5 Love Languages? Sounds cheesy doesn’t it? Well, call it what you may but truth is, love is an expression and a form of communication. Our desire is for that love to be reciprocated. So when that love is lost in translation, you can feel neglected, rejected and misunderstood.
Miscommunication is the root of unhappiness in all types of relationships: be it romantic, professional, friendship or family.
Just because your intention is noble and sincere, doesn’t always guarantee it will be received that way.
The key to a win-win situation in the name of love is first, figuring out what your love language is and second, identifying how you prefer to receive it. Mind you, they may or may not be the same.
That is what today’s episode is all about: learning the 5 love languages, how you can effectively convey it and experience it.
The 5 love languages is not some urban legend or cheesy concept. It is actually a science on human behavior on how to express and experience love effectively. It is based on a bestselling self-help book written by Gary Chapman.
I read the book many moons ago and it has changed the way I viewed relationships and how I can “extract” fulfillment from them.
It is not something you get from someone. Rather, it is something that you must learn to manifest through your own efforts – first.
Taking accountability for your own words and actions greatly affect the quality of all your relationships. Love is not selfish. Therefore, it’s not about what you can get but what you can offer first and foremost.
With every cause (your actions), only then can there be an effect (their reaction) with a higher rate of success.
If you truly want to make your relationships better, identifying how you can improve them not only makes your loved ones happier but you too, will reap the benefits it brings.
The 5 love languages are:
Acts of Services
Words of Affirmation
We all innately convey and respond to all 5 love languages. However, there will always be one that is the most dominant over the rest. The art is learning how to play each card or love language given a specific situation and person.
Be aware that you may express it one way but how you wish to receive it may not be the same.
If we all convey and receive love the same way then we’d be attracted to the same people for the same reasons.
We are complex individuals. So just as DNA makes you biologically and physiologically unique, your love language makes you emotionally and psychologically unique too.
Likewise, the 5 Love Languages isn’t just for your relationships with others.
It is also, if not, most importantly, for the relationship we neglect the most: with ourselves.
How we nurture ourselves will dictate the kind of love we convey to others. So be the love you wish to receive.
I explain all these on today’s episode so I hope you enjoy and learn a thing or two. People assume once you know the 5 love languages, you’re good to go. If only it were that easy.
It’s one thing to know and another to apply. If it were that simple then relationships would all be happily ever after.
So I truly encourage you to watch the video to understand how to use all 5 love languages to your advantage. Then reap all its benefits for you and your various relationships.
It took me time to truly apply what I learned from the book – years, in fact. I am still learning as I go. As with all relationships, it takes time, effort, consistency and communication – PRACTICE. So don’t be too hard on yourself. Baby steps are better than no steps at all.
Learn to study the needs of your partner, colleagues, friends, siblings, etc. (Don’t forget to study your own needs as well). Once you identify how they prefer to experience love and affection, I guarantee that how they treat you will change positively. Then if you decide to communicate with them how you wish to receive love then boom, it’s a win-win!
How I wish it were easy to communicate how we wish to receive love. Instead, let your actions or love language based on their desires do the talking instead.
Likewise, it’s never a guarantee that for as long as we express a preferential love language to a person we are pursuing, we will get it in return.
We cannot control the behavior of others but what we can control is our attitude. We can only hope for the best as to how others reciprocate. For as long as we gave it our all to be proactive, then there will be no regrets.
As they say, it’s not about working harder, it’s working smarter. Same theory applies to working on all relationships.